A dream may be a wish your heart makes, but it takes elbow grease to turn it into reality.
I have this dream about writing novels. It’s not huge or anything. No winning an Oscar or climbing Mt. Everest — not even the bestseller list (though I’m not opposed to that!). No, it’s mostly just me getting to a point where my outside matches up with where I want my heart to be.
Screaming on the Inside
A few years ago when I was spending my days taking care of children instead of writing, I received a deep message from a 3-year-old. She and her little accomplice were singing and yelling from their car seats in the back of my van. I let them party it up until I couldn’t take it anymore and finally broke. “No more screaming,” I said.
The girls weren’t so happy with me spoiling their fun. They obeyed, but pouted, and finally after taking all the quiet she could, little Gracie piped up. “Oh, I’m screaming in my head right now.” She wanted me to know what was going on with her outside did not reflect her loud heart.
That’s how I feel. My outside does not reflect my screaming insides. I want to be flying, soaring, spinning with the wind and landing on heights. But instead I stay put.
Unlike Gracie though, my dichotomy is not the result of obedience, but rather the opposite.
I want the dream, but when it comes to doing the work for the dream, I falter and fall.
It’s hard. It takes work. It’s not comfortable, and I wait for it to become easier, be fun, and fit like a glove. And I do nothing. That’s not working.
Shoot for the Moon, blah, blah, blah
Before I started writing this, I looked up quotes about dreams. There are a bunch out there. Lots of platitudes about hanging on, aiming for the moon, rising to the top. Just reading them makes it seem like it would be simple. All you have to do is hold on to that dream. But I’m pretty sure if that’s all you ever do, you won’t get to where you’re hoping to go.
Dreams can take time, be boring, and evidently require a little bit of failing along the way.
Yes, I know. This may not be a huge discovery for all of you out there who have accomplished much already, but for me, coming to terms with the work of dreams has been rather eye-opening.
The Underside of the Dream
Work, chores, stuff. Struggling. Failing. Waiting. Those are the undersides of the dream. The parts that hold it up. You can’t have the one without the other. That hasn’t stopped me from trying though.
I tried to find an example from the Bible about this, but the closest I could find was the Pharisees or the rich young ruler. The ones who wanted more, but weren’t enamored with doing what needed to be done. I’m a dream hypocrite, and there’s only one way to fix that.
Get to work.
I have been “trying” to downsize for the past 3 years to move with our friends in an over 55 community. First bad knees fixed with replacements, then a virus killed my right Vestibular nerve creating permanent vertigo. Now picking up and walking with objects is like doing so in a wind tunnel. However your thoughts in this article have given me material to reframe my thoughts and push through. Also to help others like some recent widows get back into life.
Keep your insights coming.
Praying for you Beth as you push through and reach out! You inspire me. Thanks for sharing.