My neighbors scare me.
I’m pretty sure one guy is a spy, and his wife hates me. But then again, that may be my imagination.
Or an excuse– one of several I use to make myself not feel so bad for not talking to them. Meeting new people is not my forte. Don’t get me wrong. I like to meet strangers and hear their stories, but for some reason I struggle with neighbors and those people sitting near me at church (blasted greeting time).
For a long time, I’ve used my introvertedness as a pretty solid excuse for me to hang back and not initiate conversation. It’s just how I am. I can’t help it.
But now I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’ve taken that a little too far.
I mean it may be construed as hypocritical for me to encourage all of you to get out there, be bold, and share truth while I sit safely behind my computer, with shades drawn, away from the sounds of my neighbors chatting in the cul-de-sac.
I mean that literally. The folks in my neighborhood have taken to having little get togethers all the time. I went once, for about 10 minutes.
You know, I’ve never really been a party person. Didn’t go to them in high school, didn’t go to them in college, and so far I’m doing well at avoiding them as an adult.
But then there’s this nagging feeling that I’m not doing something I should be doing. Even worse than that is the reason why I’m not doing this thing that I think I maybe should be doing.
Talking to them scares me for some crazy reason. I mean, it’s not like he actually is a spy. What am I scared of?
The old me might have shrugged that off with an “Oh well.” But I’m changing. I’m fighting. I’m growing. And that has brought me to a warrior crossroads. If I’m going to be the person I’m meant to be, I may need to rethink my introvert excuse.
Some people say Jesus was an introvert. He was an introvert who evidently loved people. I didn’t say loved being with people. I said loved people. There’s a difference.
I might be lacking a little in that love category.
I don’t think that’s the only problem here though. Maybe it’s selfishness or insecurity or maybe it just seems fake to me. All of that hand shaking and smiling when I really just want to sit in my chair and wait for the music to start.
The answer to this quandary is escaping me. So far the only thing I’ve come up with is to get off my you know what and do something.
I’m still scared though.
But I’m accepting the challenges that come my way.
Don’t laugh, but the first one’s a doozy. I’m going to be part of a couples panel. We sit on stage and about 80 people get to ask us questions. My stomach starts to do weird things just thinking about it. This could go very badly. My only solace is that it could make a great story. I’ll let you know.
How about you? What are you NOT going to let fear keep you from doing anymore?