Seriously, can someone develop an equation that would spell it out for me?
I know the big stuff. There are some things you HAVE to address. Threats of suicide, abuse, depression, destructive behaviors. But what about the other stuff?
What about when your friend goes on and one about the new guy at work, and your thinking “does your husband know about him?” or What about when some stranger makes a derogatory comment about your faith and you’ve got about three more seconds to spend with him before he clears the line and moves on?
I’m really bad at this stuff. I’m a pretty good listener and empathizer, but knowing the right thing to say at the right time constantly eludes me. Ask my daughters. They know.
There’s got to be some way to get better at this…practice? I’m not sure about that, cause others may suffer as I practice speaking up when I really just need to listen. See! It’s complicated.
And don’t tell me this is a case of “you’ve just got to be honest,” cause I really don’t think the world wants me speaking my mind all of the time. Pretty much every time I go uncensored, I end up feeling like I should’ve kept my snarky comments to myself
(maybe part of the equation should be if it’s “snarky” it gets a negative sign in front of it and never gets said).
I usually abide by the motto, “If they want my opinion, they’ll ask for it.” But you know, most people don’t ask for it. Maybe they think if I have something to share, I will, but that would be incorrect.
(I know there seems to be an inconsistency here since I write a blog every day and share my opinion, but writing it out here is miles away from sitting across from someone and sharing a thought that just might make them angry.)
So, here’s a plea for help…how do you know when to speak and when to stay silent? As a rule, do you mostly just speak your mind and let the cards fall? Or is it better to err in the opposite direction and listen and wait…