It refuses to be the plastic, fake, hollow thing that pretends like it’s happy when on the inside it’s lonely and sad and waiting for a change.
The fake life lets the world spin by and gets sidelined in the journey as it waits for that one thing to happen. You know, the one event, win, nod that will bring about deliverance, success, or love. This life watches, but doesn’t learn; dreams, but doesn’t awaken; bends, but never breaks. Safe. Whole. Intact. And the calendar closes in on it with far more years behind, than in front. It comprehends not the deep things in life– the things that are hidden from those who play it safe.
To drink deep the richest parts of life, some say we must lose ourselves. We must let go.
My friend who works with broken families, the girl who says no when everyone else screams yes. The man who spends his free time talking to people about Jesus and going places I’m too scared to go.
I see all of that, but yet I hold on to the railing. Tethers pull me back. Chains formed by my questions interlinked with my practicalities and bolted down by my judgment calls.
And still the words hover in the air challenging me to let it go.
Of course, my desperate heart skirts the issues and spends more time looking for loopholes than jumping points.
“Let go of what?” I ask. “What exactly is it that I’m to unhand and set free?”
But even as I ask the question, I know the answer. I can waste away pretending I haven’t gotten clear direction yet or comfort myself with a misguided use of his almighty silence. But the truth remains unchanged. I can believe that if I don’t actually hear him say it, it won’t be real, but it is. Whether the thunder claps and the voice of God shouts it from the heavens or the world utters not a sound and the spirit stays perfectly still, I already know the answer to the question.
What am I to let go of?
Tuneful Tuesday is happy to bring Tenth Avenue North’s Let it Go. Peace!