I don’t think of myself as a terribly vain person, but since December I’ve been struggling with quite the superficial dilemma. Big Bangs.
I should’ve known when I first sat in the chair that things weren’t right.
The guy cutting my hair was visibly upset. When I asked him if he was okay, he told me about his bad break-up and how he had just learned from a “friend” that his ex had moved on.
Now, as a rule, you should never let someone who’s stifling angry tears and holding scissors anywhere near your head.
But how do you get out of something like that? He’d already been rejected. I couldn’t just run away with half-cut hair. So I listened. I listened to him vent, and he snipped and snipped. When the end finally came, all I could see was my bangs. My big bushy bangs. They were going to take forever to grow back out.
I told myself it wasn’t a big deal and that I shouldn’t be so petty.
It’s just hair.
However, over these last few months, I’ve come to the sad realization that I’m shallow.
I look in the mirror, see my bangs, and think I look terrible. They poof out, and suddenly I spend the next hour patting my forehead and hoping no one notices.
What would become of me if something major actually happened? I might never leave my house.
Well I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being a baby when I’m supposed to be washing feet and finding sheep. I keep waiting to be different like it’s just going to magically happen, but it evidently doesn’t work that way. I’m not going to magically stop being self-centered and shallow.
I’m going to have to do more than just want to change. No, it’s going to take more than that.
The kind of change I’m talking about isn’t accomplished by a self-help program or positive talk. It’s going to take something more powerful than a good haircut and better perspective.
It’s going to take God.
If a person is fully consecrated to God, then their life should be different, right?
I recently read an article about people with amazing testimonies of how God transformed their lives.
I want that.
I’m not a junkie or destitute, but I am vain and shallow and self-centered.
So like DL Moody sitting on a park bench, I’m leaning into the words of Henry Varley,
“The world is yet to see what God will do with and for and through and in and by the man (or woman) who is fully consecrated to Him.”
Take me God, bushy bangs and all, and help me be fully devoted to you and you alone.
What is that going to look like? I’m not sure. If big bangs are involved, I’ll let you know.
How about you? You want to test the theory? What would full consecration to God look like in your life?
Well, hopefully big bangs aren’t required because I’m woefully lacking in that department. If it makes you feel any better, the day before my junior picture back in high school I decided to cut my own bangs. I had about 1/8 of inch of bangs…it was horrible.
Thanks for a great post. It made me stop and think. Something to consider on what fully consecrated would look like in my life.
What a great story! (And picture, I bet.) I’m still trying to figure out what fully consecrated will look like in my life too.
Thank you so much!! You are not alone and now I know I’m not either! If it’s not bushy bangs it’s ugly legs which I’m desperately trying to get in shape before my daughter’s wedding so I can look amazing in my dress that is shorter in the front than the back. I’m so thankful for His grace and that we are changed and new and perfect but still in process all at the same time. At least we get good blog material with our own “stuff”! Much love girl! Keep writing. And the best way to grow out a… Read more »
Thanks Andy! I have been avoiding mirrors. I’m thankful for grace too!
And I was upset that I didn’t have big bangs! go figure…
I guess none of us can be happy! Oh dear!