Gone are the days of me.
All my evaluating and analyzing
The long moments at the window wondering
Why I can’t be better.
I try and fail. Do well, then fail again.
How can I be loved? And then
How can I not be?
And with one word all the trying and self-inflicted woe
Comes to a halt.
For in that one word, I am complete.
No need to try. No need to sob.
His grace covers my everything.
Riches beyond my reach fall across my path.
I stare at them. My head tilts just so. Does anyone else see this?
Just taking them seems wrong. I should ask first.
Maybe they’re not for me.
Or maybe I should sneak a little away in secret.
It would hardly be noticed.
There’s more than enough to spare.
Assuredly, no one would really care.
What do I do? I’m frozen before the beauty.
It moves me, yet I cannot move.
He says take all you need. I give freely.
His graciousness knows no bounds.
Annoyed at myself for not taking more.
I should have filled my pockets, arms, and soul with His goodness.
And now I look for a place to store this newfound loot.
Treasures too good for my shabby house, sparkling as if to note the disparity.
The beauty changes the walls, the floor, the windows.
What once was drab and forlorn, now glistens with promise.
And the doors swing wide. I cannot keep them closed.
It is a strange thing to suddenly have everything you need.
The mediocrity of life gives way to truth,
And yet I feel lost without worry and fear and fruitless trying.
Fear’s my familiar ground. Worry an old friend. This goodness too much for me.
I turn my back, but He calls, “I won’t let you go.” Grace abounds even more.
Cowardly, still I retreat to the familiar mess of life.
Found but acting like I’m lost.
Believing His mercy cannot heal all wounds.
My comfort nestles in among my wrongs and chooses to stop too soon.
Why is it so hard to let the good stuff in?
Yet still He does not let me go.
His presence I cannot escape.
Treasure intertwined with an unworthy heart. I am His and He is mine.
His warm touch tilts my chin, and he smiles into my face.
My heart leaps, and my eyes open as if seeing it all for the first time
I melt away in His embrace.
There is no room for lies amid His grace.
Even the sky rejoices as he calls my name.
How can it be that I’ve been found?
No more wallowing in my pit, longing to live.
Freedom like I’ve never known.
Unfettered, all pain removed.
Only wonder remains and the incredible truth.
He loves me, and He will not let me go.
I am saved from myself—all my trying and failing
Replaced by love.
And I cannot stay silent.
My words clamor, begging to be said, for the world to see His face
Perfection flows and life begins in God’s amazing grace.
(This poem is referenced in my blog post: Three Discoveries that Led Me Back to YOU)