Lately, I’ve been a big, fat scaredy cat. I haven’t wanted to try new things or put myself out there, and that’s seriously not good when opportunity is looking you in the face and smiling.
In my case, it wasn’t opportunity in the sense of a brave new professional world. Nope, it was much better than that.
It was Hawaii.
My husband and I went to Hawaii to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary and his 50th birthday. I soaked in the sunshine, hiked an extinct volcano (Diamond Head), swam in the Pacific, watched surfers on the Bonzai pipeline, and got my sandals wet on the Here to Eternity beach.
But there are a few things I didn’t do.
I didn’t do them because they scared me. And I don’t mean crazy things like skydiving or parasailing. I mean the tame things like snorkeling, visiting a cave, and going to the edge of the rocks to watch the waves crash. I didn’t even try the poi.
I know, I know. I should stop my whining. I went to Hawaii for goodness sakes. What do I have to complain about? Absolutely nothing. So what if I didn’t do a few things. It’s not a big deal.
You know what is a big deal, though? Letting the possibility of badness keep me from moving forward. Me focusing on how I might slip and fall into the ocean, instead of taking in the beauty of it all. Or me allowing the possibility of someone breaking into my car keep me from going to investigate a cave. It’s a big deal to focus more on the badness than the truth that no matter what, I’m going to be perfectly okay.
And that brings me back to my fears.
I’m kind of tired of being scared of that junk. My days are ticking by pretty fast now, and I’ve heard you actually will live a longer life if you try new things. It’s time to slow down the ticking and stretch myself a little. It’s time to stop focusing on the bad and start assuming the blessing will come.
My husband and I often have the following divergent perceptions. He tries something new and assumes he will succeed. I try something new and brace myself for failure.
That’s got to stop. (Not his, but mine)
Do you know how many times the Bible tells us not to be afraid? 365. That’s one for every single day of the year.
I think it’s time to take my fears off the pro/con list. It should never be my deciding factor. Sure, it’s a good emotion to be aware of, but I think I’ve given it way too much credit for far too long. It’s time to show a little faith. Of course, maybe I’m being a little hard on myself. I did get up on stage and hula dance in front of about 100 or so strangers. That didn’t scare me. But I don’t know if that’s really fair either. I have a high comfort level when it comes to looking foolish.
In the words of Tenth Avenue North, I don’t wanna be afraid anymore! I’m safe in your love, O Lord.