Five times already today I’ve stopped myself.
The thought was silently intact in my brain, but I stopped my mouth from uttering the three words bouncing around up there. The third one sometimes varied, but the first two were generally the same.
“I’m so stupid” or “I’m an idiot”.
I know, I know. That’s terrible.
I wouldn’t call anyone else those words, but for some reason, I can throw them at myself with great ease.
Maybe it’s my wacked out sense of humor that makes self-deprecation seem acceptable, but I’m about ready to put a stop to it. There’s seriously nothing biblical about it. There’s nothing helpful about it. And, despite how hard it is for me to say, it’s not true.
Wow, it was even hard for me to write that last one.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m pretty sure I do stupid and idiotic things.
For instance, every time I’ve ever thought “I don’t need to proof read that” or when I use my witty sarcasm to win an argument or that moment when I thought I could carry three glasses, an armful of books, and a basket of clothes down the steps.
However, that does not make me a stupid person or an idiot.
I’ve been created in the image of God. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (And so are YOU.)
So every time I throw one of those flaming, shame-filled arrows at myself, I’m ignoring the truth. I can tell myself it’s just so I won’t get a big head or be sucked down the pride drain, but there’s really nothing humble about calling myself names.
I think it’s safe to say that if we’re calling ourselves names and constantly focusing on what we can’t do, then we probably don’t know the truth about ourselves.
Don’t get me wrong.
I know the heart is deceitful and we’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. I’m messed up and broken, but may I never stop my sentence there!
I’m messed up and broken, and I’m loved and forgiven.
I am a child of God. I am precious to God. I am able to do many things.
(I’m gonna press pause here and just say that although I’m going on and on about me and what I’m learning, my real goal is to remind YOU of just how special and precious YOU are.)
“I am who I am” and “I AM” will take care of me. Sweet and talented writer Bethany Kaczmarek reminded me of that recently.
It feels good just to be me, and honestly, I’m in God’s hands.
His spirit works in me.
His plans are the ones that matter.
He covers all of me–the good and the bad, the hopes and the dreams, the successes and the failures.
Those are the words we should be saying to ourselves. Those are the reminders we should be shooting off.
We are fearfully and wonderfully made.
We are the apple of his eye.
He will dance over us with singing.
What words do you say quietly to yourself?
