I’ve been stuck in a loop of mediocrity. Maybe it’s a personality thing, but I like to mix things up. Usually this looks like rearranging cabinets, moving furniture, or taking a different route home. However, those fixes haven’t changed my bored heart.
I’ve heard smart people disregard the ability of the average, non-calamity-suffering person to sufficiently change anything. I don’t think that’s true though. It’s got to be possible to make changes in life without being forced to, right?
This morning I asked God to help me grow, move into the next phase, and change. Right after I said it, I realized that I may have just asked for pain. As if the only way to grow is to be struck with some sort of adversity. But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’m thinking maybe growth doesn’t automatically need to be dependent on the presence of a crisis. I mean it certainly doesn’t seem like the ideal answer to a prayer for growth should be “Let’s slap him with sickness, loss, and a flat tire. That will teach him.”
No, my prayer for change and growth need not bring any more struggles into my life. Perhaps I have enough of those right now for me to grow and learn and change. Yes, I think I do.
This isn’t to dismiss the incredible way God can use our tragedy to bring good. I’m just saying we don’t necessarily need to wait for the shoe to drop before we start moving our feet. Perhaps the big event can start with our mind.
I’m pretty sure my doldrums lately have been the result of me not thinking very much about anything. Not that I should be evaluating and analyzing every little thing, but it wouldn’t hurt for me to pause throughout my day and figure out a few things. I’ve been going through motions. The same old thing, day after blessed day.
I get up at 6:30, fix my coffee, check my email/Facebook as my sleepy fog lifts, and then read my Bible and pray. I’m hungry for more. But more isn’t happening as I do the same old thing I’ve always done. I’m just not sure what to change, so I change nothing and continue in my routine wishing it could be different.
So what’s next? I’m not sure. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I guess it’s time for me to clean out my personal junk drawer. I’m not even sure what that looks like, but I suppose it’s a start. I’ll start, and God can finish, and hopefully I’ll find out what’s beyond my loop of mediocrity.
How about you? Do you ever get a little bored and want a change? What do you do to fix it?