I really want to be an expert on something.
Because of this I sometimes act like I know stuff that I really don’t. Of course the adverse of that is also true–I sometimes act like I don’t know stuff that I really do.
Being a real expert on something appears to be much more difficult than I originally thought.
I’ve tried to help people with computer stuff (stop laughing), and I’ve offered directions to people needing them (“You take the 288 to 60, no that’s not right, is it 360? Well, you can take interstate and get there…”), and I’ve even offered medical advice (this usually involves taking a nap).
I don’t know why I do it.
Maybe it comes from a deep desire in my heart to help other people … or maybe it has something to do with my pride. Whatever my reasoning, I’m pretty sure people are on to me. I can see that look in their eye—the one that says they stopped listening like 10 seconds ago.
On the flip side of all of this, I can honestly say I sometimes act like I don’t know stuff that I really do. This usually has to do with things I don’t particularly want the world to connect with me.
Tantrums. Mistakes. Mug shots. The irony here is that I could perhaps be an expert on some of this stuff, but I’d rather not.
I’m not sure what to do with all of that, so I’ve decided to go with honesty.
Not putting on airs, not feigning ignorance, not pretending. Maybe I can be an expert in that—an expert in MB as a broken and messed up child of God, loved and forgiven and learning how to hold her sword and be a Warrior.
When you think about it, the one thing we should be an expert in is ourselves. And us being ourselves could also be something the world might need. We are a thread in a tapestry, and without us the whole picture might be incomplete. But not the fake Facebook us. No, the real us – a string filled with a thousand experiences and reactions that when woven into the fabric makes it stronger somehow. That’s you and your life, and me and mine.
“We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)
What do you think the first step in becoming an expert on yourself would be?